Baby Shower Planner Disappointed By Ruined Surprise
DEAR HARRIETTE: My friends and I were planning a surprise baby shower for our other friend. I have been the main person planning everything and have been working hard to keep this a surprise. However, I just found out that one of the girls accidentally spilled the beans about it two weeks ago, and no one told me. I am beyond irritated because no one thought to tell me. For the past few weeks, I have been working hard to make sure everything would be perfect. A big part of the effort was making sure the surprise element stayed intact, so I've been careful about what I say and who I say it to.
When I recently mentioned something about keeping the surprise under wraps, one of the girls casually told me that the mom-to-be already knows about the shower because someone accidentally told her about it a couple of weeks ago. Apparently, everyone else in the group knew this except for me. Now I'm feeling a mix of frustration and hurt, and it's making me less excited about the event that I put so much effort into. Should I at least try to postpone the event so she won't know what day it is? Or even cancel the shower? -- Spoiled Surprise
DEAR SPOILED SURPRISE: Your excitement about keeping the surprise is likely why nobody told you it was revealed. Don't change anything. Your friend is still going to be happy. Hopefully the friends who spilled the beans didn't share any of the details about the event. On your part, continue to set up everything, and ask your other friends to help more. Your pregnant friend will be thrilled even though she knows it's happening.
DEAR HARRIETTE: While in college, I met this group of ladies I became close friends with. They are all at least one or two years older than me. Over time, I've built individual relationships with each of them, and they have become some of my most supportive friendships. I love all of them equally, and I do my absolute best to be there for them. However, two of the members of the group have a rocky relationship now that ebbs and flows. Currently, one of the girls did not invite the other to her birthday trip. I am going on the trip as I do for everyone's birthday, no matter who it is. I don't want to make a friend who was not invited feel ostracized; however, I feel like it would be wrong for me not to attend this person's birthday trip. Is it my place to help bridge the relationship or should they figure it out on their own? -- Tug of Friends
DEAR TUG OF FRIENDS: Whatever is going on between those two is not your business. Stay out of it. If there have been other birthday trips, the left-out friend is aware of it and knows she wasn't invited. Yes, that's sad, but you have no control over it. You may want to be mindful of posting pictures from the trip if you don't want to rub her nose in it.
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(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)
Copyright 2026, Harriette Cole
COPYRIGHT 2026 Andrews McMeel Syndication. This feature may not be reproduced or distributed electronically, in print or otherwise without the written permission of Andrews McMeel Syndication.
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