My Pet World: When a friendly dog suddenly acts fearful

Dear Cathy,

Our children and grandchildren have a female golden retriever who is about 2-1/2 years old. She’s a sweet, normally friendly dog who has in the past greeted us quietly at the door with her tail wagging.

Recently, she has begun to walk away and cower when we arrive and has twice urinated when my husband tried to pet her. Eventually, she lets him give her a belly rub but wouldn’t take a treat from him. She doesn’t seem to have a problem with our son-in-law. Our daughter boards her with the breeder when needed and she seems to love romping around with her siblings, so I can’t imagine she had a problem there. Suggestions?

— Marcia, Silver Spring, Maryland

Dear Marcia,

It sounds like your granddog is suddenly showing signs of fear or stress around you and your husband, which is confusing since she was once happy to greet you. The cowering, avoidance, and submissive urination (peeing when approached or touched) suggest she’s feeling overwhelmed or unsure—at least in the moment.

Dogs can develop these reactions for a variety of reasons: a single scary experience, a change in your body language, or change in scent (is your husband using a new soap, aftershave, or even medical ointment)? Sometimes small changes that seem unimportant to us can feel very different – and unsettling – to a dog.

For now, keep greetings low-key. When you arrive, let her approach you. Avoid walking straight toward her, bending over, or reaching out right away. Enter calmly, speak softly, and go about your business as if she’s not there. This takes the pressure off and allows her to come to you when she is ready. When she does, offer gentle chin or shoulder scratches instead of petting her on the head. Another helpful step is to use sideways body language. Face slightly away from her, keep your hands relaxed, and crouch only if she comes near you. Keep voices soft and gestures small, since quiet, calm energy feels safer to a dog that’s uncertain.

From there, pair your presence with something wonderful. If she’s too nervous to take a treat directly from your hand, toss it gently on the floor near her. Over time, she will begin to re-associate you both with positive experiences.

In addition to giving her space, give her time. Just like people, dogs sometimes need both to rebuild trust after something has startled or unsettled them, even if we never know exactly what it was. The good news is that she still lets your husband pet her eventually and enjoys belly rubs, which means she hasn’t lost trust completely; she’s just feeling unsure in those first few minutes. With calm, consistent, positive interactions, she’ll likely return to her old, happy greetings, but it will take time.

Dear Cathy,

I just adopted a nine-month-old orange kitten. I had hoped that he would go out and scare the pigeons away, but he refuses to leave the house. He sits on either the window ledge and looks out, or he looks out at the pet door, but he will not go out. Also, he is the first cat I’ve ever had who does not bury his waste. He uses the sandbox but leaves it on top. Do you have any advice about these two issues? Thank you.

— Darlien, Las Vegas, Nevada

Dear Darlien,

It’s likely your nine-month-old kitten has never been outside, so the great outdoors feels overwhelming to him. My first piece of advice is to let your new kitten stay indoors, where he’s safe, and can be your companion. If he hasn’t lived outside, he doesn’t know anything about living outdoors.

If you need help scaring pigeons away, you might contact your local feral cat group or local animal shelter to see if they have a barn cat program. Barn cats are unsocialized, outdoor-only cats who can sometimes be placed in safe outdoor spaces to help with rodent or bird control.

Another option is to explore humane deterrents such as reflective tape or motion-activated sprinklers, which are more effective than trying to train your kitten to go outside for pigeon duty. Some people hang old CDs in areas where they don’t want birds to land or fly, as the shifting reflections can discourage them from an area.

As for the litter box, some cats never learn to cover their waste, especially if they were orphaned young and missed that lesson from their mother. It’s not harmful, just different. If the uncovered waste bothers you, consider getting a self-cleaning litter box, which can cover the waste for you.

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(Cathy M. Rosenthal is a longtime animal advocate, author, columnist and pet expert who has more than 25 years in the animal welfare field. Send your pet questions, stories and tips to cathy@petpundit.com. Please include your name, city, and state. You can follow her @cathymrosenthal.)