ArcaMax

Dear Eric: My son is 35 and his new girlfriend of three months is 32. They're both very smart. They are both very well educated. She's funny. She's smart. I really enjoy my time with her except for when she falls into these pits where she talks about him like he's not there and puts him down. She says things like “Well, I told your son to do ...Read more

Dear Eric: My husband and son are both on the autism spectrum. We brought our son a sofa from IKEA and left it in his house. It needs to be assembled along with hanging curtains and installing the curtain rods.

We are both 75. Our son works full time and is finishing up his master’s thesis. He’s unlikely to be able to help with curtain ...Read more

Dear Eric: One of my best friends, who is a lesbian, just met a girl two weeks ago and they've already said "I love you" to each other. The other girl seems genuinely lovely, and my friend is very happy, which makes me happy!

Not only is this moving very quickly, but the other girl just got out of an engagement in June. It seems clear that she'...Read more

Dear Eric: "Sue" and I have been neighbors and friends for more than 50 years. She and her husband are godparents to one of our children, we are members of social groups together, like book club and bridge group. We have shared many occasions together, at the holidays and with our families.

A couple of years ago her husband (and our friend) ...Read more

Dear Eric: Perhaps my problem stems from the fact that I am a mid-80s mom? A couple of years ago, our very responsible son asked if he could invite about 10 friends to our large lakeside cabin during our absence. There is plenty of room for all to sleep, a big kitchen and boats and a nice lake for all to enjoy. We said fine.

Married and single ...Read more

Dear Eric: My wife and I have been married 26 years. Our children are 25 and 22 and live with us. Over the years we have had plenty of arguments and came very close to divorce immediately after my youngest was born. We attended counseling for a while, but it didn’t really change anything.

In recent years, every little argument sets my wife ...Read more

Dear Eric: How do you recommend dealing with a friend who often offers assistance but never follows through? By the way, cognitive or memory issues do not impact any other situations, and the offer does appear to be genuine.

Since the matters are generally not urgent, and I have the means to resolve them on my own, I would rather not wait days,...Read more

Dear Eric: My husband works for an airline and had an emotional affair with a female coworker. I only found out through less-than-honest means (I went through his phone while he was asleep).

I have started going to long-overdue therapy but am unable to get over the constant paranoia, anxiety and anguish this has caused.

I'm an extremely loyal ...Read more

Dear Eric: My wife has three living adult kids from three different fathers – ages 22, 29 and 32. The 32-year-old has a husband and two kids of her own. I allowed all of them to live with us since they couldn’t get along on their own.

Last year, my wife’s fourth adult child died so I inherited her 3-year-old.

We had nine people in our ...Read more

Dear Eric: Our next-door neighbor is a longtime university professor who is well known in his field. We have been neighbors for many years, and we all get along well. He lives alone.

An irritating habit of his is to stop by and launch into long-winded stories about some mundane event in his present or past life or to pontificate about a current...Read more

Dear Eric: I started a new job a year ago. I took over as a supervisor at a municipal agency and from an individual who was retiring and who is a friend of mine.

The position that I took over for had a number of employees who were retired and had part-time jobs. They were very loyal to him, and he let them do what they wanted as long as it got ...Read more

Dear Eric: My father’s side has always hosted holiday meals. We are all in our 60s and 70s. My parents are gone, and kids are in their 20s and 30s. My cousin has taken over and puts on a great celebration. With Covid and the death of her mother she did not host/invite us, which hurt our feelings because we enjoyed the time to see everyone.

I ...Read more

Dear Eric: I’ve been in a relationship with my partner for most of my 20s, and while I still love him, I find myself wondering if I am still attracted to him.

In the last few years, he has significantly stopped taking care of himself. As a very active and healthy person (I run marathons, bike, lift weights regularly, et cetera), I find it ...Read more

Dear Eric: As a Spanish-American, my ancestors from Spain have resided in the United States since long before the first Thanksgiving.

When one acquaintance inquired about my origin, I assumed he meant the city I recently relocated from. He clarified by asking if I was from Guatemala. In a social context, that question is exclusively directed at...Read more

Dear Eric: My sister-in-law is ill and not expected to live much longer. My brother has already commented that he is looking forward to traveling with my wife and me after she passes since we have common interests (think golfing vacations) and all get along well.

The problem is he isn’t comfortable with silence, and he always has to be ...Read more

Dear Eric: We are a group of three female former co-workers who have gathered regularly for 10 years to celebrate birthdays and Christmas. We have taken turns at each other’s homes and always had a nice time eating, laughing and reminiscing together.

This year, one member of our group ghosted the other two of us. She will not respond to ...Read more

Dear Eric: Several months ago, a group of friends and I planned a vacation trip for this coming fall. We pre-paid the hotel costs, all-inclusive fees and paid for round-trip airline tickets. A few weeks ago, I received a "save the date" postcard from my nephew and his fiancée.

The wedding will be held in a state fairly distant from where I ...Read more

Dear Eric: I've been taking yoga classes for at least eight years from a woman who teaches a small group in her yard. I'm friendly with most of the students in the class, but the instructor apparently doesn't like "the cut of my jib."

Example: She singled me out in class one time, saying I looked like "someone's mom in the '70s doing yoga." For...Read more

Dear Eric: Several months ago, I discovered my husband was having an emotional affair with a coworker. He shared significant things with her he didn’t share with me, sought her advice on how to hide his alcohol abuse from me and talked to her about our arguments, while she fueled the negativity against me and trashed me. He also discussed ...Read more

Dear Eric: I have been married to a wonderful woman for many years. She is educated and has many years of practical experience. But if there is anything that makes me “bite the bullet” it’s her interruptions mid-delivery from me. I have dared to call her out for interrupting me and she will say I'm taking too long to make a point, even in ...Read more