For five years, I dodged every bullet.

I don't know how I managed to beat COVID-19 for so long, even as family, friends and colleagues got hit with the coronavirus. Although I took precautions from the beginning, with masking and vaccinations, I was also out in public a lot for work and travel.

But my luck has finally run out, and it must have been the air travel that did me in. I returned from a cross-country trip with a razor blade sore throat and a stubborn headache, followed by aches and pains.

The first test was positive.

I figured it had to be wrong, given my super-immunity track record.

The second test was even more positive.

So I've been quarantined in a corner of the house, reaching alternately for Tylenol and the thermometer. Everything is a little fuzzy, making it hard to distinguish between the real and the imagined.

For instance, how can it be true that just as I get COVID for the first time, the news is suddenly dominated by COVID-related stories?

It has to be a fever-induced hallucination. There's no other way to explain why, as COVID surges yet again with another bugger of a strain, the best tool against the virus — vaccine — is under full assault by the leaders of the nation.

They are making it harder, rather than easier, to get medicine recommended by the overwhelming majority of the legitimate, non-crackpot wing of the medical community.

Under the new vaccine policies, prices are up. Permission from doctors is needed. Depending on your age or your home state, you could be out of luck.

Meanwhile, President Donald Trump fired Susan Monarez, the head of the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, essentially for putting her own professional integrity and commitment to public service above crackpot directives from a cabal of vaccine skeptics.

And following Health and Human Services Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr.'s cancellation of $500 million in mRNA vaccine research, Trump is demanding that pharmaceutical companies show proof that vaccines work.

My eyes are red and burning, but can COVID be entirely to blame?

I got a booster before my travels, even though I knew it might not stand up to the new strain of COVID. It's possible I have a milder case than I might have had without the vaccine. But on that question and many others, as new waves keep coming our way, wouldn't the smart move be more research rather than less?

Trump downplayed the virus when it first surfaced in 2019 and 2020. Then he blamed it on China. He resisted masking, and lemmings by the thousands got sick and died. Then he got COVID himself. At one point, he recommended that people get the vaccine.

Now he's putting on the brakes?

My headache is coming back, my eyes are still burning, and unless my Tylenol is laced with LSD, I think I just saw a clip in which Kennedy and Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth attempted 50 pull-ups and 100 push-ups in 10 minutes.

I appreciate the health and fitness plug, and because Kennedy and I are the same age — 71 — it's impressive to see him in the gym.

But there's something that has to be said about the Kennedy-Hegseth workout tape:

They're cheating.

Take a look for yourself, and don't be fooled by the tight T-shirts worn by these two homecoming kings.

Those were not full chin-ups or push-ups.

Not even close.

Cutting corners is the wrong message to send to the nation's children, or to any age group. And how is anyone going to make it to the gym if they come down with COVID because they couldn't get vaccinated?

Honestly, the whole thing has to be a fever dream I'm having, because in the middle of the workout, Kennedy said, and I quote, "It was President Trump who inspired us to do this."

He is many things, Trump. Fitness role model is not one of them, no matter how many times he blasts out of sand traps on company time.

Getting back to cutting corners, Kennedy said in slashing mRNA research that "we have studied the science," with a news release link to a 181-page document purportedly supporting his claim that the vaccines "fail to protect effectively."

That document was roundly eviscerated by hordes of scientists who were aghast at the distortions and misinterpretations by Kennedy.

"It's either staggering incompetence or willful misrepresentation," said Jake Scott, an infectious-disease physician and Stanford University professor, writing for the media company STAT. "Kennedy is using evidence that refutes his own position to justify dismantling tools we'll desperately need when the next pandemic arrives."

I lost my sense of smell a few days ago, but even I can tell you that stinks.

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